Wednesday, 16 November 2011

Sibal stuns the nation again, claims Sachin has zero centuries

                       Sibal claims Rahul G can always bowl out Sachin before the century,
                                            Sachin just never faced him

Kapil Sibal, Union Minister for telecom, stunned the nation once again after claiming that cricketing mastereo Sachin has zero centuries till date! Notably, few days ago he had claimed that the losses to the exchequer from the 2G spectrum auction were zero.


Talking to media reporters on the sidelines of the summit "A tale of 'two' 2G's : How Rahul G revolutionized the telecom sector", the union minister made these remarks while responding to informal queries. In the summit, it was revealed that it was actually Rahul G who influneced the policy to give spectrum at lower prices, so that the migrant beggars in other states could keep track of their families in home states, and could use sms banking for funds transfers. "Yes, he is a natural leader, and is evolving", he echoed the sentiments of his colleague, general secretary AICC. "It is precisely due to Rahul G that today people can read free sms and be happy, even if they don't get something out of begging, full credit to him".

When asked if that makes Rahul G equally culpable in the 2G scam, he looked confused and asked what scam was that? When pointed that Raja and Kanimojhi are in jail, and probably a "towel guy" could follow there soon, he brushed that place aside as a "presumptive Jail". "Have you people seen real jails? Have you seen the rooms these gentlemen have been provided to live? Dare you call that a jail?" he shot back. They will be back in cabinet soon, he claimed. "I can show you real jails though, if you keep asking similar stupid questions", was an afterthought from him.

In a lighter vein, when some reporter asked if he was waiting eagerly for the centuries of century of Sachin, he looked confused again. "What century of centuries? Have that guy even scored a single of them?" he asked. Shocked, even after knowing who he was, the reporters asked him to clarify it. He dismissed that those centuries were just notional and presumptive till now. "Why are you inflating these centuries like the present CAG, where there exist none !" was his cryptic response. "The centuries have not been ratified by the Madam till now due to her poor health, probably she is putting forth this responsibility to the Rahul G. Till then, they can only be quoted as notional. I can't say anything more at present" was all that reporters could elicit from him.

"Wish sachin ji could deliver a real century of votes for us, that would be the real century we will celebrate", were the final remarks, full of smile, and we rushed to collect our pizza coupens and money for publishing this news.

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